How Does A Clock Work Orange?
by mattmale
Summary: HOW DOES A CLOCK WORK ORANGE? is an illustrated, post-modern parody with Alex DeLarge reliving his harrowing journey through the fantastical world of Dr. Seuss; a world where the Nadsat wordplay is rhymed and impenitent mischief abounds, his reconditioning is that of whimsy, yet what ensues...still confounds. For more check out: /howdoesaclockworkorange


At the Kooroova Milk-Shop,  
sitting in the best seat,  
was I, Alex, with my droogs,  
that's Dim, Georgie and Pete.  
All in the heighth of fashion the four of us were dressed;  
drinking the old moloko – mixed with _synthmesc_ was best.  
Our molokos then began their _moloko-plus pricks_,  
which meant out into the nochy went us four malchicks...

Leaving the biblio was this mossy schoolmaster  
with books under his arm, so we walked up much faster.  
While us four smiling droogs surrounded him in a square  
I said, "Pardon me, brother, but what books have you there?"

"Oh, these books aren't for you. They are too precious you see.  
These books are quite advanced and not for ones such as thee."  
I instead snatched them out  
saying, "We just want to look,"  
and began to read his big Crys-tal-log-ra-phy book.

"This book is _quite_ amusing, so to you, sir, thank you.  
I'm taking these as mine but won't return them once due."  
We then pushed him aside and carried away anew.

In a brand new, found,  
_Durangola-McFive_,  
we ran down lewdies as, due west, we did drive.  
Noticing this cottage with HOME on its gate,  
we stop in the drive and I in-ves-ti-gate.

I say through the door to the veck out of view.  
"Pardon me, monsieur. Sorry to disturb you.  
I know it is late but you appear lonely.  
I have just the cure but have just _one_ only.  
It is the best of cures. It's truly quite great  
and will improve _ten-fold_ your sad lonely state!"  
He paused for a moment...and then he said, "Wait."

The front door then opened and in came with me  
droogie Pete,  
droogie Dim  
and droogie Georgie  
all wearing masks, making much fun to be had,  
and starting a game called, Now Let's All Be Bad.

But, he did not like, he was a dissenter,  
"What is this? Who Are You? HOW DARE YOU ENTER!  
You all cannot be here! IT'S NOT A REC. CENTER!"  
"_Thou did pray to have fun,"  
_said I to the squire,  
_"Well this is the fun that thoust so require!"_

As I tilted my hat and picked up his cat  
beginning _the old_ _cat-hat_ balancing act,  
Georgie grabbed this vase, Pete and Dim fine decor  
and proceeded to throw them right on to the floor  
till, "No!" said the veck, "This is no fun at all!"  
trying his best to put this fun to a stall.  
And _that_ was my cue so, along with guffaws,  
I '_chocked _the veck's head till the kroovy it was.

We all went back townwards to the Kooroova Milk-Shop  
which was operating now with lewdies filled to the top.  
In a moment of hush  
this sharp and her Violoone  
appeared out the lewdies stringing a fine Vio-Tune.  
I was in just pure bliss as this song I quitely knew  
..._till Dim dog-howled and guffawed like he lived in a zoo_.  
For being a dum-bler he must a lesson be taught  
so I decided to POP his dim, mannerless rot.

"I don't like what you done. I'm your brother no morewise!"  
said Dim wiping his lip. Right then, much to my surprise,  
Pete and Georgie jumped in and they began to chastise,  
"No more picking on Dim. We don't like it that way!"  
"In fact it should all be equal and not just your say!"  
"BUT ORDER SHOULD BE KEPT," I barked,  
"TO RULE I MUST!  
I HAVE BEEN IN CHARGE LONG AND RULED YOU ALL QUITE JUST!"  
They all warily nodded.  
I had regained their trust.

For us came brand new drinkie-drinks, at my insist,  
as for calming these droogies scotchies would assist.  
I said, "Now my brothers, _what doth ye have in mind_?"  
"I know of this one place," ol' Georgieboy outlined.  
"There's a house in Oldtown that Dim and I espied  
where this ancient cheena appears lonely inside."  
I said, "Good, Georgieboy. Let's toast with a scotchy!  
...Oh, the places we'll go this horrorshow nochy!"

Through the cheena's window we saw in her house  
that she'd the bestest stuff and _was_ without spouse.  
Told my droogs, "Stay back. I'll go down the chimney.  
Why the need to chat for her to let in: me?"  
So inside I then slid, all gentle and slow;  
peaked my head out the flue and then said, "Hello!"  
But she reddened up  
and like loudly bellowed,  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING  
YOU YOUNG TILLIANOUS VOAD!?"  
"Well know now if you must," I thought this up quick,  
"I'm _the_ chimney tester for dear old St. Nick!"

"You leave now at once!" she barked without caprice,  
"_He's already been_ so I'm calling police!"  
"You've misunderstood," I rightly tried to say,  
"I've come here in peace and just wanted to play,"  
I tried to begin my famed balancing act  
but her cats played rough; they just ran and attacked  
till she came for me and my cheek she right smacked!  
Like this I did not so I went on offense  
and grabbed this statue that was really quite dense  
and _'chocked _her one fine  
sparing  
not  
one  
expense.

Hearing a siren that wasn't too distant,  
I knew right then I must belt in an instant!  
I ran to the front door and undid the chain,  
but there stood old Dim  
blocking my exit lane.  
To him I exclaimed,  
"OFF! Rozzes are nearing!"  
"You stay and meet them," Dim said all like sneering.  
Then without notice came his Oozy-la-mace  
swinging right into my oblivious face.

"I'M BLIND YOU _VILE SODS_!" I creeched out as they fled.  
The rozzes then came.  
And away I was lead...


End file.
